i was floundering, just inwardly tossing out ideas

after the sun went down,

cannot help but slurp a third cup of G7 Viet café noir

as if pumping gas for the sake of going up and running

in reverse, I fell into almost-instant slumber for three hours

a pure, smooth, gourmet—nourishment, something i long for that feeds the soul

let me be immune from the gravitational energy of Omni-tasking

despite what the world expected of me and everything i’ve been trained

believe it or not, i still cannot pretend i could get the hang of using chopsticks

even though the hard-wired, built-in narrative always reminds me

i should probably teach the know-how in the eyes of others

when truth be told, i honestly cannot

i thought to myself that I would not be silenced like a sitting duck,

alas, my fictitious dreams revealed to me the otherwise

maybe deep solitude is the way to go

—with a gentle touch of tenaciousness

what am i consuming? who do i be? where is my sanctuary?

what am i doing with my time? why should i care?

just as though I was asked how i would fulfill my divine assignment,

the answers remain starkly different from the worldly view of life

the peculiar notion of self-mastery is not selfish or narcissistic

it takes ample courage to be still—for God’s sake

i am not what i do or doing what i should,

my divine worth dot not rely on my accomplishment

in the season of holy leisure—doing nothing-,

for the sake of being in the presence of GOD

cradled in a place of unimagined blessing

from head to heart to the hands—submitting to GOD

it is time to savor and serve with my gift—for good

relishing a Spirit-led, Divinely designed, God-given

lavishly loved, sacred story of grace, and joy-filled life

unescorted by fear-fueled false narratives

—to be truly free.

Soli Deo gloria

improv-poem by rose 23, January 2023

^{Header photo by Rose, Nalati Grassland, Ili, Xinjiang, China, 2021}