My chest is congested
I feel trapped by fears
Nothing else to add on
Constant over-or-under
thinking
rather—inevitably
make me feel
less than
as though spinning a cocoon
but hell no, that’s not me
It’s my thinking mind
at work
I want it to stop, to slow down
to call it a day
I rolled over onto my side
I curled up
to pray
I stared at the empty ceiling
so one more minute in bed
let it get off my chest, just be
still
I have no shame in speaking about
my past mistakes
even if they are more or less relevant to
my current
it’s best to keep them at a safe distance
for the sake of keeping my eyes on the road
Freeing my head, imagining
—what kind of relationship would actually
nurture
and feed
my soul
Upon hitting the 6:55 snooze
dozing off again when 1/2 of the day
has long passed
I might not have been
dreaming of what I had
dreamed
I heard the lousy narrative
that brought me
awake
so piercing that it just keeps
tugging at my
heartstring
My subliminal mind reveals the inner truth,
for it was fear
that is what I feared of
that propelled me to act, to decide, to run away
I do not know what’s gonna be
I do not know where’s heading to
I do not know who I will be with
I say what I want to say
from the heart
not in the eyes of the others
who would expect what I say
or function
in their desires
I am not a puppet
Then you ask, “what do you want?”
I say I want me and my life back
—that I may live fully
to move forward is to think forward
It is about time
better late than never
to make an
honest
choice
for the mind, God’s Spirit
and myself. ✨
Proverbs 4:25-26 New Century Version (NCV)